Jun. 24th, 2016 03:07 pm
solarbird: (face-of-moe)
I want to say "Incompressible Jizztrumpet is my Kenny G cover band," but I don't want people to jump in saying "he's a sax player," because then I would have to talk about the history of saxophone as a sexy instrument, and I don't want to, particularly not where Kenny G is involved.
solarbird: (shego-rule?-you?)

Seagate and LaCie make wireless external hard drives for mobile use, so you can ‘expand your phone’ and carry around whatever external data you’d like to carry around without blowing your phone’s storage. I guess that’s useful. I imagine people also use them as ‘personal cloud’ devices, whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean, and other things.

But I don’t care, really, because THEY SHIP WITH AN UNDOCUMENTED TELNET SERVER RUNNING WITH ROOT ACCESS. You can read and write anything and everything.

This is… amazing. How do you let this happen? It’s another case where I need an Industrial Espionage Inside! logo sticker. Here, have a first draft.

On a related note, this talk at Black Hat 2013 on hacking z/OS mainframes is pretty cool, and tells me that back in my part of the problem days that I could’ve been a goddamn rock star in this admittedly-small field at Black Hat, because the shit I was doing on IBM mainframes was way more complicated and subtle than this.

There are mainframe people in comments telling the presenter not to be so glib about mainframe security because they know exactly what you’re doing via their monitoring systems. I heard that shit then, too; it was bullshit at the time and I’m pretty sure it’s bullshit now given the sploits he’s outlining. Hell, I submitted some reports through trusted third parties because they were just too easy – easier than these, even, and some of this is pretty damn easy.

I mean, seriously, ever seen a security patch for an unpublicised exploit released in one day? I have. That was caused by one of my third-partied reports. (Arbitrary access to any account in 19 keystrokes, completely unlogged. It was hilarious. But also too easy, so, reported. I knew exactly what they were doing wrong and how to fix it, so it’s not like they had to work at it.)

But enough of the past. Go play skeet shooting with your wireless Seagate and LaCie drives now. It’s probably more effective than trusting them.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come check out our music at:
Bandcamp (full album streaming) | Videos | iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby

solarbird: (cake)

I had a brief but hilarious conversation with the fill-in massage therapist today.

Solarbird: We were talking about why I needed not to be face down throughout the session, because my sinuses will get cranky and I’ll have a headache all day, and I mentioned allergy shots having done me a lot of good.
Solarbird: And he asked what was in them, and I said, “Well, allergens, actually, it’s an exposure technique, they aren’t actually entirely sure how it works…” and he started going off about “Yeah, like homeopathy.”
Solarbird: Now right there, I started laughing…
Solarbird: “Okay, you will get absolutely nowhere with homeopathy with me.”
Fill-In Massage Therapist (FIMT): “As in you don’t respond well, or…”
Solarbird: “As in it doesn’t work.”
FIMT: “But it’s the same thing.”
Solarbird: “No, the allergen is actually present in allergy shots.”
FIMT: “So it is in…”
Solarbird: <laughs> “No it’s not.”
FIMT: “Okay, but the essense is…”
Solarbird: <laughs more> “No, it’s not.”
FIMT: “…you sure have a lot of opinions for somebody who didn’t use their biology.”
Solarbird: “Yes! Yes, I do! Also, possibly degraded social skills from being four months at home. But I was a researcher in genetics. I have papers. They were published!
Solarbird: “Water memory? No.

And then we started talking about folk music instead.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come check out our music at:
Bandcamp (full album streaming) | Videos | iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby

solarbird: (korra-fruck-out)

Seriously? Dinosaur romance porn (“Dinorotica”?) is an actual thing?

I thought Anna was joking when she mentioned Ravaged by the Triceratops, but apparently not.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come check out our music at:
Bandcamp (full album streaming) | Videos | iTunes | Amazon | CD Baby

solarbird: (molly-angry)

James Nicoll reports on his blog that Orson Scott Card has declared marriage equality ‘moot’ and asks for ‘tolerance’ from ‘victors’ – oh, and please don’t boycott his movie. Bleeding Cool asks whether it’s enough.

No. It’s not. Honestly, I’m shaking a little with rage. That stinking S.O.B., whose legions and allies both active and advantageous have worked throughout my entire life to make me a non-person, who has advocated that I should be illegal and in jail and worked towards that goal, whose nationally-organised well-funded partners have actively persecuted me my entire life… who’ve harassed me, who’ve sent anonymous rape and death threats, who’ve assaulted me, sent me to hospital… I’ve sidetracked career, I’ve sidelined huge chunks of my life, I’ve spent – as they used to say – blood and treasure in fighting off these bastards… and knowing full well that they’d make me a nonperson again in a heartbeat if they could…

…the most we get out of this duplicitous steaming bile is “moot”ness and a request for “tolerance” (and don’t boycott my movie)?


Fuck you, Orson. Fuck. You.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (music)

How goofy is it that the same day John Scalzi updates about Snailquake – as a proposed companion piece to Sharknado – I simultaneously dig up 20 year old goofy fanzine art I did on Bad Ideas in Mecha Design: MechaSnail?


I actually think that MechaSnail would make a fitting opponent for Sharknado. They’d be highly effective as long as the Sharknado isn’t saltwater OH NO THE SAME FATAL FLAW STRIKES AGAIN WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING MECHASNAIL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (shego-rule?-you?)

A bunch of “Do you support local artists?” people were out in force near Centre House, and the first couple of times I ignored them, but on the way out they have a whole goddamn phalanx of people lined up along that corridor, so it’s like getting past Linebackers for LaRouche or something just to get out and go home. Once we made it through, I realised I really kind of needed to use the washroom before leaving, except that meant going through their artsteroid field of fundraising again, so when the same people came after me a third time I started yelling “I AM THE ARTS!!” and giving them business cards when they tried to press flyers into my hands.

This made them all go, “…whut?” and be confused and crash into each other, and thus we made our successful Kessel run. SCORE! By which I mean access to washroom facilities.

Anna said I should’ve been asking, “Do you support local supervillainy?” She’s right, of course.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (Default)
Facebook will charge to 'promote' user posts

Facebook Now Lets US Users Pay $7 To Promote Posts To The News Feeds Of More Friends

Facebook wants you to pay $7 to promote your posts


Actually, it's not as bad. Page owners, if they don't pay, have 80% of their posts hidden from subscriber/"Like"er news feeds. They're just never propagated. Individual users - for the moment - will still see posts appear in their friends' news feeds, but! they'll be scaled up and down the page depending upon whether you paid or not.

I'd like to think that this would make people go, "y'know what? Fuck this noise." But I don't think it will.
solarbird: (gypsy mst3k)
Me: "Hey, Brain! What're we going to do tonight?"
Brain: "Write the score to a 1960s television western."
Me: "...why?"
Brain: "Because the Roomba said to."
Me: "...OK then."
Seriously, brain, なんだ?
solarbird: (music)

“That’s flowers. That’s become flowers now. Is that a drink?” – me, a few minutes ago, looking in the refrigerator.

Airplanes hurt my brain.

Clearly, I am in no shape this morning to summarise the post-scarcity series, outline or no. I will write that later, instead. Hopefully tomorrow.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (Default)
Prometheus is terrible, omg. I went in with low expectations and at the end of the first reel, I seriously considered leaving and sitting in the lobby to read a book. Then it got somewhat more splody and involved more running around but absolutely no less stupid.

That said, it's mostly pretty. Occasionally the CGI goes to shit, but mostly, it's pretty.

Here, the only really part I really enjoyed:

But it's always good when Destiny Angel gets work
If there is ever a live action Captain Scarlet, we have our lead fighter pilot. All she has to do is move the part in her hair, no lie.
solarbird: (music)

Oh rite, it’s Monday. Hi, Jango listeners! Nice to meet you! I should upload some more songs for you guys over there. For CONVENIENCE! But I hope you’ll look at the band website, because you can play everything here. ^_^

Private liquor sale is new in our part of Cascadia, and while I was busking at market yesterday, I discovered the local hardware store got themselves a liquor license. They’ll begin selling spirits in a couple of weeks.

Chainsaws, nailguns, and vodka! What could go wrong? All that’s missing are fireworks.

Suddenly, this seems like a good idea

I think they need a new name. I’ve already come up with NAILGUNS’N'GIN and AMPUTATIONS R US. Comment with suggestions, and I’ll make a poll on Wednesday. XD

Today, I’m working today on the soundtrack album for Faerie Blood and Bone Walker. The soundtrack was originally mostly for the first book, but it’s evolved into an equal treatment of both. There’s one song where I need to figure out licensing, but it should be pretty straightforward; we weren’t going to do any covers, but, well, Anna had an idea, and if we can get the right vocalist, it’d be awesome. But we need the right male vocalist, somebody who can be a bit of a crooner. I only know one who has the right voice, and he’s pretty busy. But I’ve asked. Fingers crossed.

Leannan Sidhe’s album kickstarter is on its last five days! (Yeah, it says four, the last day is day zero to go and it counts down in hours and minutes.) They’re quite close to funding now, so if you’ve been waiting, get yourself over there and back it!

These guys

They’ve come this far in a 21-day sprint run (vs. the usual 30-day), so their metrics are actually really good. It’d be cool to pop them back onto the Popular pages in the last few days, get a little bonus attention, maybe trigger their newly-announced stretch goal. I’ve already backed, so g’wan, do it.

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (music)

I haven’t played bass guitar much since finishing the bass parts on Dick Tracy Must Die (and particularly the bass solo on Stars). And that’s sad, because I really like bass. So I’m practicing again, with scales, exercises… and Irish jigs. Which I personally think is hilarious. Not tuba hilarious, I grant you. But hilarious nonetheless.

Here, I put up a video from the show at the B-Side!

The camera tripod was too low for the stage, so it’s all lol-hiding-behind-music-stand, but the sound quality is pretty good. I think I’m getting a handle on the sound part of this live-recording business – more than the video so far, anyway.

Next show I’ll have new and much taller tripod, and actual video camera! It’s very exciting. PORTLANDERS! The show’s on the 26th! Contact me if you want an invitation! ^_^

Oh good, something’s beeping in the server room. I hope it’s not on fire!

i see smoke signals coming from them
they say “we are out of furniture”

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (assassin)

SHOW SHOW SHOW! FRIDAY! ACROSS FROM THE BON MARCHE PARKING GARAGE! (and sadly next to where the Night Kitchen used to be). Leannan Sidhe, CRIME and the Forces of Evil, Kräken-Röhl! BE THE AUDIENCE!

Monday’s post on the future of creative economics generated a lot of discussion over on Livejournal, with a bunch of back-and-forth over that and SOPA/PIPA/ACTA and so on.

Also, there’s been a whole lot of Skyrim in the lair, lately? And this kind of happened. Really, there’s no excuse for this kind of behaviour, but:

“Open Mic Night at the Winking Skeever”
a.k.a. “Anybody Got a Banjo?”
2012 Solarbird, the Lightbringer (Dara Korra’ti), Minion Anna (Angela Korra’ti), Minion Paul (Paul M. Johnson)
Creative Commons 3.5 attribute/noncommercial/derivative works allowed

(to the tune of “O Susanna”)

I used to go adventuring
To see all I could see
I ran into a Draugr lord
Who took my leg from me

Fuck you Skyrim
Now I’m an amputee
I stand around this shithole town
With an arrow in my knee

This little kid just won’t shut up
About her mother’s job
I’m gonna cram this mammoth tusk
Right up her yapping gob

Fuck you Skyrim
Now I’m an amputee
I stand around this shithole town
With an arrow in my knee

I like to go down to the pub
The finest mead to drink
The bards, they only know two songs
And both songs really stink

Fuck you Skyrim
Now I’m an amputee
I stand around this shithole town
With an arrow in my knee

Adventurers come to this town
And lord it over me
They wander ’round and beat me down
‘Cause I’m an N.P.C.

Fuck you Skyrim
Yeah “Be all I can be”
I’d give my life to leave this town
and sail the northern sea!


please say they have to

—– 30 —–

I sometimes sing “I stand around this shithole town” as “And I stand around in this shithole town,” but the former is more like the O Suzanna syllabics and oh just kill me now. XD

After the show on Friday… okay, I won’t get out of there ’till 11:30 or so, so we’ll probably just load out, get some food, and head home. But Saturday and Sunday we’ll be at Conflikt! You goin’? Say hi!

Click to download PDF

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (assassin)

Welcome to October! October, the month that feels like going home, the month of falling leaves, of horror movies, of Halloween, of rainy season, of no more flowers but not yet snow, of the Great Pumpkin, and of Wild Chickens. They go for the kill.

I’m in more of a Poison Ivy mood, even if DC Comics probably screwed her up too in the reboot. (<RAEG>GIVE ME BACK MY POISON IVY/HARLEY QUINN YOU ASSHOLES!</RAEG>) We spent a lot of time this past summer trying to beat back the local strangleweeds, debating over which was the leader. Now, as far as I’m concerned, it all has to end in fire, but who do you think is in charge of the Cascadian botanical apocalypse?

Reveal the Leader of the Cascadian Botanical Apocalypse!

  • [ ] Horsetail
  • [ ] Tickievine
  • [ ] Blackberry
  • [ ] Laurel
  • [ ] Morning Glory
  • [ ] ADDED: English Ivy (second four horseplants, nr. 1)
  • [ ] ADDED: Scotch Broom (second four horseplants, nr. 2)
  • [ ] ADDED: Japanese Knotweed (second four horseplants, nr. 3)
  • [ ] ADDED: Wisteria (second four horseplants, nr. 4)


And for those of you not lucky enough to live in the Republic, what’s going to engulf your world come the Ragweednarok? As always, if the answer you want isn’t here, DO NOT VOTE, but instead put it in comments. I will add it, and you can vote for it then.

Reveal the Leader of Your Botanical Apocalypse!

  • [ ] French Climbing Rose
  • [ ] Tickietree!
  • [ ] Kudzu
  • [ ] Honeysuckle
  • [ ] Scotch Broom
  • [ ] Salt Cedar
  • [ ] English Ivy
  • [ ] ADDED: Giant Hogweed


And if that’s not enough evil for you, check this shit out, found by lj:Flashfire: SAUNAPANTS: THE NEXT GENERATION. You want a terrifying picture?

Yes, it’s Commander Riker. In Saunapants. RedARERT!

PS: Don’t forget that tickiebox is your master now! Also the latest Cracksman Betty song, I’m a Rover, Live at Juanita Bay. Enjoy!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (molly-happy)

It has been suggested on the Livejournal echo that “Apocalypse Jaguar” is a good band name. My immediate thought was that Seven and the Ragged Tiger was Duran Duran’s Apocalypse Jaguar cover band.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1. Comment here with one more more albums from Apocalypse Jaguar’s discography. Should you feel like image-searching for album art, that would be epic.

2. Alternatively, comment here with your entry for:

“Apocalypse Jaguar is my _______________ cover band.”

If there are enough good answers, I’ll turn this into a poll, and the winner of the poll gets a free autographed Dick Tracy Must Die CD, suitable for playing, framing, evangelising the band (ahem) or distracting guards during your jailbreak.

Ready… steady… GO!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (assassin)

HI, MIRA GRANT FANS! Welcome to the home of rage-driven acoustic elfmetal! That was quite the turnout you guys provided to the WHO IS YOUR THE MASTER NOW? poll; well done!

Let’s talk losers and winners, shall we? First, our loser, with a frankly astonishing ZERO (0) votes: SAD FOX MASTER!

Not even one?!

Out-polled by “MANOS”: The Hands of Fate. That’s gotta hurt.

Now for our winner! I give you the animated GIF presentation of your new THE MASTER – hit refresh if you want to make sure you start at the beginning…

Mira Grant! Congratulations, voters! Mira Grant is your THE MASTER now! Beware her zombie viruses and many other forms of doom. Everyone show your allegiance by singing the doom song – or else!

In other news, I’ve done a rather substantial refresh of the official band website. When I designed and built it last summer, I didn’t have much material beyond the Sketchy Characters EP. So I designed the site around that.

Since then, I’ve been busy. There’s the studio album, Dick Tracy Must Die, a live four-song EP, Espionage, a traditional-music-of-sorts EP, Cracksman Betty (both EPs being free/pay-what-you-want downloads), videos, photos, mailing list, ask-the-band, show posters, and and and.

So I’ve rebooted everything! I’ve ditched the hard black-on-white look and gone with something more colourful. I’ve elevated the music so you can find it – you might note the album cover graphics have play buttons! There’s a link off to YouTube video, there are shiny candy social network buttons – all sorts of stuff. There’s still no real merch page, and I’ll have to fix that soon, but the rest is pretty much where I want it. Tester feedback has been really good; give it a going-over and let me know what you think!

I already have the new poll designed for Wednesday. I like this one, it’ll be fun. Look for it, because it’ll be looking for you. Muah ha ha ha ha!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil. Come listen to our music!

solarbird: (assassin)

Not much to talk about on the music front today; still wrapped up with day jobbe shenanigans. The recordings from last week still await examination, and my next show isn’t until October, a solo instrumental set over in Redmond, Washington. I’ll be treating it as an audition for a larger spot at the same place next year.

But in supervillainy news, I have something exciting! Thanks to the fine folks at CRACKED, I have found my next lairbuilders! Assuming their technical capabilities verify out, of course. Sure, they also play to paranoid 2012 fantasies, but they play to paranoid 2012 crazies who have lots and lots of money! And they take that money from them. AND – they’re engineers! Apparently, they’re our kind of people!

Finally, the best poll engines are the ones that you can break and hack and make do really stupid things they were really never designed to do. Like I am! Seriously, I have no idea at all how well this is going to work. XD

Last week we found out WHO IS YOUR MASTER NOW?

This week, we ask, WHO IS YOUR THE MASTER NOW? Choose wisely, lest one of the losers make you fun-sized! MUAH HA HA HA HA HA!



Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil.
Dick Tracy Must Die is out! Buy at CD Baby, Amazon, iTunes, eMusic, or through Bandcamp!

solarbird: from display at PAX 2011 (ook)

...I'm kinda proud of this. XD

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