Oh good, that's over.

[solarbird]

I am so glad Christmas is over. I've been in a good mood all day! I woke up this morning thinking, "oh yay, we're past that again!" and not in the just-tired-of-it-it'll-be-great-next-year kind of thing, either. I hate this holiday. I keep my mouth shut about it throughout the run-up, and I try to focus on the holidays I care about (Thanksgiving and Longestnight), and, by the way, I genuinely do wish everyone a Happy New Year 2011. I even write Happy or Merry Christmas on my cards for people.

But I just can't stand this holiday. It's stressful and awful. I didn't always hate it, but now, yeah, I pretty much do.

I don't have the childhood memories that make it magic for most of you guys. Anna does, but I just don't. The few childhood memories I have at all mostly involve child abuse, sometimes by capital-letter-C Christians who in some cases are in religious roles, so the holiday starts off on a bad foot. Then my adult memories of Christmas are mostly of awkward and stressful interactions with my last guardians and people I barely know but that I'm supposed to treat like family even tho' everyone is freaky weird about it, trying my best to buy decent presents on zero budget for people I don't know and getting inappropriate gifts in exchange. ("Another wool sweater that I can't wear, just like last year. Oh how convenient, it fits you perfectly!") So that's fun.

Just as bad - again, for me, not for so many of you - is that Christmas has its basis in a religion that has spent my entire conscious life actively and directly trying to fuck me through force of law, and most of whose representatives from the more liberal wings would generally more have arguments over how badly I should be harmed rather than try to, you know, help. Even on the individual level, for years, I had oh-so-liberal Christians actually getting mad at me for asking them to try to get involved and do something about their more aggressive evangelical co-religionists. I have a tiny, tiny number counter-examples in my life - Christians who neither actively work to make my life hell or stand by and let others do it - but it's a very small number.

I am so fucking glad Christmas is over.

I should probably stop for a second to say that I don't mind if you guys enjoy Christmas. Great, go to. I'm not trying to Destroy All Christmas, so just stop before you start. Some of you have secular American Christmas full of Santa Claus and childhood memories, some of you have Christian Christmas in a way that isn't directed at trying to destroy me, and I try to cope when some people get irritated when I don't say "Christmas" and when I'm not all starry-eyed thrilled when you bring it up. But even in that regard, it's like everybody's preparing for and waxing poetic about a party to which I am not invited and at which I am not wanted. And, yes, I could declare that I'm coming, but I wouldn't actually be welcome, nor would I be happy being there. It'd be a sad version of a Mr. Bean Christmas, one without the Queen's Christmas Message, crackers, and amusing turkey incident. I'll save those up for New Year's and boozahol, thanks.

I was good with all the activity around Christmas for a long time - I love the lights, and I like a lot of the decorations, even if it always made me sad about the dead tree, and I like the ideas of giving presents and family, even if I kind of lack one behind me. But then Fox News and the fundamentalists started up their War On Christmas bullshit - so laughable! And yet, so omnipresent! - a few years ago as yet another way to suck joy and happiness out of the world, and that's metastasised to became yet another layer of American ritualised political fucktardary poisoning the air. Damn them for starting it, and damn anyone who falls for it. The only battle they won in this made-up war was making me actively dread Christmas. Congratulations, you asstards - you got what I suspect you really wanted anyway.

I try not to be rude about it to the rest of you. I really do. But I'm glad it's over, at least until next year. Yay! Particularly, for whatever reason, this year. Nothing particularly bad happened; I mostly managed to keep a wall between it and me, which is a help. 2010, while not an awesome year in a lot of ways, has been much better than the years-long chain of medical hell, social isolation and alienation, and economic and political bludgeoning Anna and I have been going through much of the last decade. 2010 - the year so many people on my friendslist have been complaining about - was really quite a step up!

And best of all, Christmas is over! Such a relief. Box that rabid little animal away for another 10 months or so, and let's look forward to celebrating a Happy New Year. At least, that's what I'll be doing. Happy New Year, everybody, for reals. We made it through another one!

Here, have some adorable puppies:

Comments

[kvogel.livejournal.com]

Totally understand. I'm increasingly down on Christmas for the Orwellian conformity that comes out - "Everyone MUST love Christmas" - (mostly the consumer-madness) but also the socio-political aspects. And coming on the heels of an election season only makes it worse.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

lol, shoulda read other comments first. Mine far too repetitive of yours, but with more typos. Sorry bout that.

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

Happy New Year, Dara. I heard a genuinely funny typography joke the other day and I thought of you!

[solarbird]

Happy new year! And lol typography. XD

[kathrynt.livejournal.com]

Yo mamma's kerning so fucked up all her hyperlinks say "dick here."

[solarbird]

omg

how does that work so well? yet it does XD

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Totally understood. You have plenty of godo reason not to be crazy about this holiday.

And it's not *fair* for the majoirty to expect the holdicay to mean the same thing to everyone. I think the sense that "you must be happy and joyous at Christmas or you suck" messaging is a big part of why there are so many suicides at this time of year. Forced conformity is bad enough; compulsory happiness is a real killer.

It's funny, I have so totally tuned out the "war on Christmas" stuff I was barely aware the Foxians (horrible phrase, I like real foxes; evil, evil network to steal their name!) were still rambling on about it. Lucky me, huh?

But. Puppies cute!!!!!! Yay puppies!

(now, back to work, blech)

Oh, but first!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!!!

May it be not another step up, but a fun-filled highly scenic escalator ride to the top for you and yours!

[403.livejournal.com]

Yes. This.

[phillipalden.livejournal.com]

My first thought is that I'm sorry you had such a terrible childhood. My father was an alcoholic, and sobered up (AA) when I was five. But I'm the youngest of six, and my five older siblings experienced a lot of "blacked-out, angry drunk dad," and it fucked our family up the way these things always do.

Christmas was important to my mother, but my partner is Jewish and I was never a "Christian." I was just forced to attend Sunday Mass with my parents as a kid.

Today it seems like everything is either marketing, or part of the toxic religious stew that is trying to infect our society. I have friends who are Christians, but they are not who you see on TV or read about in our mass-media publications.

I don't want to start my own rant here, but just to say that I empathize with you, even though your experience was far more horrific than mine. I'm also glad this holiday has passed.

I hope your today, and your tomorrow, are brighter than yesterday.

[solarbird]

Thanks. And happy new year. ^_^

[maellenkleth]

'Toxic religious stew' is such an excellent way to put it. Thank you!

[westrider.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's nice to hear someone else who genuinely dislikes Christmas, to know that I'm not the only one. Everyone else seems to be either an enthusiast or an apologist who tries to turn Christmas into something else when I just want it out of my life.

I keep getting pulled in by family guilt each year, much as I just want to spend that day hiding. The couple of years where I was able to spend Christmas alone (and thus not celebrate it) are the happiest ones I remember.

It's just a pile of stress, and trying to come up with presents I can't afford for people who I don't feel like I know anymore and having to deal with the family members I can avoid during the rest of the year.

I don't have the childhood memories to help out either, mostly just memories of high hopes and disappointment, and everything was supposed to be all magical and wonderful, but it was just like any other time except there were fir needles all over the place and lots of things I'd break if I played like usual.

Having been a Baker for the last few Christmases certainly hasn't helped. Only working Retail comes to mind as a worse job to have during that time. Again, Pile o' Stress, being overworked, overstressed, underrested, constantly subjected to the same terrible music*, and surrounded by people who keep telling me I should be having a wonderful time.

I do like the lights, and some of the music, and I would love this time of year if it weren't loaded with Christmas, the Weather is just what I like.

*As mentioned, I like some Christmas music, but that's not what gets played on the radio.

[mathmuffin.livejournal.com]

You do send fine Christmas cards. Thank you for sending one to us.

I am curious what a "capital-letter-C Christian" is. I am a Christian, but I also have to mention that I am Lutheran, so people will know my doctrine. I wonder who was claiming the main title for themselves, this time.

I also don't understand the so-called Christian side of the War on Christmas. Why would seriously religious people want a big public spectacle on our cheery little religious holiday? We don't insist on a spectacle for Easter or Pentecost, which are more important.

[solarbird]

With respect, I do not send Christmas cards. I send Solstice or New Year's cards, as you prefer (same thing, really). I will wish Christians a happy Christmas in those cards - I keep track of that in my card database, but that's not the same thing.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

you know, i'm still mad about the neighbor who mowed down bruce the spruce.

[solarbird]

...I didn't know what that was. It was the poem? Wow, yeah.

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

naw, you might not remember this. we had a live xmas tree we planted in the back yard and the downstairs people mowed it down -- that was bruce the spruce. same jerky neighbors who slashed my tires. eventually we got jun to kick them out.

[solarbird]

Ooooh yeah I remember that now. I didn't remember you'd called him Bruce. Bastards. (They also sliced my tires, and I put up that camera that was actually a real camera but didn't actually go to a recorder.)

[lyonesse.livejournal.com]

the lady we bought him from at pike place called him "bruce the spruce".

ah, memories....but yeah, those neighbors totally sucked :)

[solarbird]

He tried to start a fistfight with me in the Safeway parking lot. No, really!

[maellenkleth]

concur, utterly :(

[marzipan-pig.livejournal.com]

Yes.

I am glad it's over myself.

What's funny is that almost everyone who said Merry Xmas to my face is actually Jewish and saying it out of politeness; one I openly said "You don't celebrate Xmas and neither do I" to and she laughed.

I gave exactly ONE identified Xmas present this year, and it was to someone I knew it would be meaningful to.

[batyatoon]

Happy New Year, hon. We made it through again.

[solarbird]

Indeed. Happy 2011!

[cheryl-f.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you got past Christmas, too. If I were "Queen of Everything", I'd take away all the negativity that you experienced and replace it with hope and love. All of the winter festivals, be they Christian, Jewish, Islamic or Pagan, seem to be focused on the renewal of life and hope.

To you and Anna - a much better decade.



But really, I am a holiday lights junky, so I have to put up every single one I have. Except this year because it was too darn rainy.

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Happy New Year!

I like Christmas even though it isn't "my" holiday (I've spent most of my life with close family who do celebrate it, so I kind of get in on it the way one does in coming to somebody's birthday party... it's not your birthday, but you help them by being festive with them). But I fully understand why some people don't, and I'll try not to bring it up around you now that I know you don't enjoy it. My friends and I don't have to like all of the same things; that'd drive us all nuts.

Where did the Pomeranians come from? Are they yours? Do Fred and George mind?

[solarbird]

Cute Overload found the video - I just reposted it. (No, they're none of ours, and I'm sure Fred and George would have words.)

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

I'm sure they would. Probably hissed and spat.

I tried to tell a friend's cat, via interpreter, "I am not a cat toy." My friend, who was interpreting for me, responded, "That sentence is not grammatical in cat."

I thought about it for a minute, then tried again. "I am a cat toy that bites back." He said, "That sentence might be grammatical in cat."

When conveyed to the cat, she yowled, but left me thereafter alone.

(nods wryly)

[tahkhleet.livejournal.com]

Christmas so hasn't worked for me as a spiritual occasion for a long time, and this "not working" really undercut the "have a party and try to be less of a wretched fleshbag for a couple of weeks in general and one day in particular"....

Atheist phase: it peeved me a bit because people wouldn't acknowledge they alone were making themselves nicer and because I hated anything slowing down the death of Christianity

Jewish phase: they stole our message, laced it with cyanide, _and_ killed and tortured a bunch of us...for no rationally defensible reason! (yes, I know since I didn't convert, "us" is inappropriate but I did really feel like they were "my side")

incoherent Pagan phase: you people are treating the forging of your souls like dropping off your tax stuff with the accountant to fill out, and Christmas is the big filing and tax return party rolled into one. Oh, and people are sold on Jesus because the world sucks so much it can only be tolerable if some outside force saves us from reality. So talk about inverting the whole purpose of observing the solstice....

(and Christmas is a party to distract Christians from the fact the majority will have hardly any spiritual experiences in their life (if any at all) so it's basically helping keep people hooked on nutrasweet instead of food)

(there are errors and bad assumptions nestled in my thinking earlier in life so I'm sure this current phase has a few I will look back ruefully upon one day)

So yah, I do feast on Christmas...but not to commemorate anything about Christianity but as a sort of counter demonstration that I do have a lot to be grateful for, and okay, I'll be grateful for it today too. But I'll be grateful my way :)