getting a little giddy right about now

[solarbird]

This composition assignment is an introduction letter to a made-up Japanese pen pal. It's really difficult for me. We're supposed to talk about things like our school and class and our house and where we live. I just wrote this:

わたしのうちはゆきにがあります。ゆきにすんでいます。さむいのです。かいひょうすきます。おいしです。ときどき、しろくまはわたしのおばさんをたべます。でも、なれました。

"My house is in the snow. I live in the snow. It's cold. I like seals; they are delicious. Occasionally, a polar bear eats my mother. But I've gotten used to that."

I think maybe I need a break.

Comments

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

1) You left out "It's cold."
2) Are you sure にが is OK grammatically? I'd drop the が.

[solarbird]

1) FINE. THERE.
2) leave me alone, my brain is tired.

[quen-elf.livejournal.com]

sisterwendy is right about 'ni ga'. Also I'm not convinced about sukimasu (appears to be technically correct but wouldn't 'ga suki desu' would be more usual). And obasan is 'aunt', not mother, although that makes more sense as you could have multiple aunts for the polar bear to occasionally eat. ('okaasan' is mother, although I think that's usually for somebody else's mother since it's honorific; maybe 'haha' is better. I'm unsure about this area). Finally, I suspect the polar bear should take 'ga' not 'wa' because it wasn't previously established (kind of like 'the' vs 'a').

sorry, I realise you're not going to hand in that version so there is no point nitpicking it. :)

[blues-kun.livejournal.com]

I'm going to fix it for you because I'm really bored.

わたしのうちはゆきにあります。ゆきにすんでいます。さむいです。かいひょうがすきです。おいしいです。ときどき、しろくまはわたしのおかあさんをたべます。でも、なれました。

[otoselkie.livejournal.com]

We did a similar exercise in highschool Japanese. There were quite a few letters with things like 「ちちはロボットのうさぎです」。

[solarbird]

My letter sux. I think I'm going to go live in a small box.