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solarbirdCrime and the Forces of Evil have an alter-ego. I don’t mean our secret identities, or formerly secret identities, I mean our alter-ego as the elfpunk band Mary Kaye and the Cosmetics. The Cosmetics play hardcore on exclusively Hello Kitty branded instruments and have yet to use more than four chords – anywhere. They write songs with titles like “Sick of America,” “Sad Muppet,” and this one, “My Boyfriend.”
There’s also a spoken-word intro on a separate track that explains how it’s actually a song about Bishōjo Senshi Sailor Moon – sorta – but with very not worksafe lyrics. The intro is PG rated, tops, but seriously do not play the song at work. Or possibly anywhere. I’ve pasted the intro script below the players; like usual I deviated from it, but it’s close enough.
Yes, that’s a drumkit. No, it’s not a normal rock drumkit, it’s made of bodhrans and djembes and drumsticks and mallets and other random bits. Yes, that’s effectively an electric mandolin overdriven to hell and back, and a heavily filtered and overdriven electric octave mandolin, and, well, you get the idea. If I had something I could turn up to 11 on this song, I said fukkit and turned it up to 12. Enjoy:
So how many of you know what Sailor Moon is? Okay! So! Huge show if you were a girl in the 90s, told the story of the sailor senshi, superhero incarnations of the planets, defending the solar system against threats both extrasolar and extradimensional. A US company bought the rights to the first two series, dubbed ‘em, aired them in North America, and it’s a huge hit. So they want more of that, buy the next two series sight unseen and immediately realise they have a problem, or more correctly, two problems.
FIRST: one of the villains is gay. It’s not subtext; it’s a plot point. But being drawn in the fine tradition of bishonen, he’s pretty. VERY pretty. So they look at him and think, “you know… with some edits… and recasting… and new dialogue… we could make him… a her.” And they do. I understand it still airs this way, in English, but I don’t care, I watch Japanese.
But then they have a SECOND problem. We meet three new sailor senshi: Sailors Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Uranus and Neptune, both women, are a couple. It’s not subtext. And it’s time to play everybody’s favourite game: LET’S HIDE THE LESBIANS! They look at Sailor Neptune… and go oh god, and so they look at Sailor Uranus and think, “Weeellll… she’s pretty butch… she’s a race car driver in real life… and she’s got short hair and wears pants all the time… maybe we could make her… a him.” I’m told that this actually made it out into the wild before – and I PRAY this is true – someone rang them up them going, “youuuuuu IDIOTS. Do you not know – because your audience certainly knows – that those uniforms they transform into to fight crime in are GIRL’S SCHOOL UNIFORMS and YOU have just invented the WORLD’S FIRST TRANSVESTITE SUPERHERO?”
This is about THAT Sailor Uranus, sung by THAT Sailor Neptune, and it’s called, “My Boyfriend.”
Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil.
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no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 07:53 am (UTC)Incidentally, you rock the party that rocks the party. <3 <3 <3
(Haruka was always my fave.)
<3 you too!
Date: 2010-10-21 03:56 pm (UTC)This is why I hate dub-based importers, for the most part. Like, with Cardcaptor Sakura. (For third parties: they hacked out the first six episodes before Syaoran appeared because they wouldn't air it without a boy in every episode, putting the plot-critical excised material back in later as flashbacks. This also let them take the opportunity to whittle down Tomoyo's crush on Sakura - I can't even imagine what they'd have done to Tomoyo's lesbian mother had it got that far. Hngngngngnggh!)
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Date: 2010-10-21 09:27 am (UTC)*) i.e. the Adaptation Decay, not the song.
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Date: 2010-10-21 04:00 pm (UTC)"YOU have just invented the WORLD’S FIRST TRANSVESTITE SUPERHERO!?"
Date: 2010-10-21 01:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 02:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-21 06:01 pm (UTC)I remember back when I met you in person and saw you play at a Farmer's Market somewhere on the Eastside, you tried to explain this song to me and why you couldn't sing it there. Now that all clicks.
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Date: 2010-10-21 06:26 pm (UTC)A lot of that distortion is in the recording. Intentionally! 'Cause the Cosmetics are just that kind of band. TURN IT UP TO TWELVE YOU FUCKERS XD
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Date: 2010-10-22 06:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 12:20 am (UTC)You know, I rather *LIKE* the idea of the world's first transvestite superhero.
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Date: 2010-10-22 03:53 am (UTC)Mind you, if it hadn't been to expensive to redraw that animation, I bet they'd have stuck with Plan A...
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Date: 2010-10-22 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 04:44 pm (UTC)I'm so glad someone else is writing in this vein
Date: 2010-10-22 06:42 pm (UTC)Re: I'm so glad someone else is writing in this vein
Date: 2010-10-22 07:01 pm (UTC)No title
Date: 2010-10-22 06:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-22 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-23 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-23 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-24 07:41 pm (UTC)