solarbird | Googlegum Crash

Everybody needs to link to this story using the phrase seriously fucked up, and right now. Google must return this link when the phrase "seriously fucked up" is entered. NOW, DAMN YOU! START LINKING!

I am Optimus Prime

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Current Mood: quixotic
Current Music: Move Your Feet | Junior Senior

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

banner.livejournal.com

Do I even want to read this? After the first paragraph blood started to flow from my eyes....

The HORROR! THE HORROR!!!!

From:

solarbird

Kitt was almost beyond speech. He hadn't expected this from Michael, hadn't believed that Michael could possibly find him sexually attractive. But he could feel the human organ pressed hotly against his own shaft, and he could feel a heat in his circuits that was overwhelming all other functions until those sensors had his total and undivided attention.

From:

flashfire.livejournal.com

No! To! Sticking! The! Banana! In! The! Tailpipe!

Augh!

From:

kairee.livejournal.com

My eyes! My eyes!

...my poor childhood memories!

From:

solarbird

----- Recall start -----
Solarbird starts a google crusade!
Flashfire smirks
Solarbird sends, ** EVERYONE MUST JOIN **
Rebecca sings, "Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael KITT KITT Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael KITT KITT Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael Oh no it's a slash writer taking notes! It's a slash writer taking notes! It's an (embarrassed) Michael Michael Michael Michael Michael KITT KITT
Solarbird laughs!
Anna falls over into a shuddering, twitching pile of horror.
Flashfire snorts.
Kitt says, "Michael, what are you doing to my tailpipe?"
Anna HOWLS
Rebecca says "The actual noise for KITT in the song isn't the name KITT but the 'vee-yoo' of the light going back and forth."
Flashfire says "I call this sticking the banana in the tailpipe, KITT."
Rebecca says "It's position 34 in the Kama Sutra (automotive edition)."
Rebecca says "It comes right after 'Jacking Up'."
Anna HOWLS again
Anna ow
Anna's brain hurts
Flashfire Awooooo!
Anna ow
Flashfire says "Yeah, I think my IQ just dropped."
Rebecca says "It's important to always have emergency supplies in your car including a flashlight, a jack, astroglide, flares, water, crank shaft condom, and a blanket."
Flashfire buh.
Anna loses it again
Solarbird sends, ** And a box of Altoids. **
Rebecca says "According to the refrigerator, that's the right answer."
Flashfire says "So is this a version of carjacking I'm unfamiliar with?"
Rebecca says "Hopefully."
Rebecca says "..."
Rebecca says "Hopefully."
Solarbird edges away from Flashfire.
Flashfire flashes headlights at Solarbird.
Rebecca says "I guess I finally understand why sometimes, when other people are driving, the windshield fogs up."
Flashfire says "Oy."
Flashfire does not want to know what people do with the stick.
Flashfire says "I heard KITT's got junk in the trunk, though."
Anna says "Clearly, Flashfire has not SEEN that first paragraph of the fanfic."
Flashfire says "This is a good thing."
Anna shudders some more and will have to write 20,000 extra words just to try to balance out the horror that is MICHAEL/KITT slash.
Flashfire says "Good motivation."
Rebecca says "It could have been worse."
Flashfire doesn't wanna know how.
Rebecca says "It could have been Devon."
Anna EEEEEEEEEW
Flashfire says "He's got that big rig for himself."
Anna OW MY BRAIN
Flashfire says "It HURRRRRRTTS!"
Anna puts a frog on her head. JED! Make the bad story go away!
Rebecca does some basic Knight Rider research online, and determines that KITT is later dismantled and one of KITT's chips implanted in a female cop's brain.
Anna adds, "EEW EEW EEW EEW EEW EEW"
Rebecca says "Does she ever wake up at night screaming?"
Rebecca says "THat's what I want to know."
Flashfire says "..."
Rebecca | *Mister* Vice-President!
Solarbird . o O (as Cheney desperately dry-humps the carburator)
Flashfire says "No. Just...no."
Anna whimpers.
Kitt . o O (For the love of god, MORE OIL!)
Flashfire says "Makeitstoppleasemakeitstop!"
Media Panda comes home, reads backlog and dies laughing!
Flashfire says "So..Michael really revs KITT's engine, eh?"
Flashfire grins at MP.
Anna will never drive a car again. Well, at least black computerized sentient cars.
Media Panda says "It was the mention of Devon that was the best. ;)"
Flashfire grins.
Anna giggles hysterically
Flashfire thought the banana in the tailpipe bit was good, yepyep ;)
Rebecca says "Quick, KITT, it's time to turbo boost!"
Anna LAUGHS

From:

solarbird

Media Panda says "It was Devon that made me laugh out loud. Cause you know, that is one way it could DEFINITELY be worse. ;)"
Flashfire snrks.
Rebecca | Michael, that only works if you push the button at the right time.
Media Panda says "either that, or a threesome - Devon, Michael, and KITT. };)"
Flashfire says "Ohpleasegodno"
Anna AAAAAAAAAH
Rebecca says "KITT sandwich!"
Anna says "KITT HAS TWO TAILPIPES"
Flashfire says "Better than a Michael sandwich between KITT and KARR."
Media Panda says "And I can so hear KITT'S voice everytime someone "speaks" for him. ;)"
Solarbird edges away from Anna. ** And you know this _how_? **
Media Panda says "That would be a snuff sex video. ;)"
Flashfire says "Dual pipes! Kinky!"
Rebecca says "The Phoenix Foundation transports KITT around in a big truck whose back opens to release KITT onto the road."
Rebecca says "This was really embarrassing that one time they hit the release by accident."
Media Panda peers at Anna. You know, it really IS terrifying that you know that KITT has two tailpipes. -I- don't even know that! Well, knew that.
Anna was bullshitting. ^_^
Media Panda ohs and snickers
Anna OH GOD there's a Phoenix Foundation in Knight Rider canon AND MacGyver canon?!
Anna's brain goes to scary, scary, SCARY places
Flashfire says "FakeMaster! FakeMaster! The Mighty Anna is a fucking FakeMaster!"
Solarbird sends, ** What, you mean the Very Special Episode where MacGyver helps Kitt solve his "personal problem?" **
Rebecca says "With DUCT TAPE!"
Anna HOWLS
Rebecca says "You can solve anything with DUCT TAPE!"
Flashfire is picturing y'all laughing out loud up there.
Rebecca says "It's the one thing sex therapists never thought to try!"
Anna says "Well, none of them ever worked with CARS"
Flashfire wonders what KITT thinks of smog checks.
Anna breathe *GASP* breathe
Rebecca says "I suppose that Pete would be worse than Devon."
Solarbird wonders more whether Kitt is unnatrually fond of Jiffy-Lube
Flashfire facepalms
Rebecca says "Both for the visual and for the sheer betrayal on MacGyver's face."
Rebecca | "You *removed* the TAPE?"
Anna SHRIEKS
Flashfire says "Oh KITT, you have a lovely crankshaft."
Rebecca | "It's bad enough that you had sex with the car, but you REMOVED the TAPE?"
Rebecca | "It's MY TAPE."
Rebecca | "It's all I HAVE."
Rebecca | "I don't HAVE a car fetish like you do."
Rebecca | "I just have my gum, my string, and my wonderful TAPE."
Rebecca | "And you TOOK it."
Rebecca | "I feel unclean."
Rebecca | "I'm going to shave off my mullet now."
Solarbird sends, ** Wait'll he finds where the swiss army knife went. **
Rebecca says "He didn't even know it *had* that tool!"
Anna is dead now
Anna has died
Anna HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Flashfire says "Laughter from the great beyond."
Rebecca says "He's very good at practical matters, Mac is, but there are some tools that he just looked at and said, 'No idea what *that's* for.'"
Flashfire says "Feigned ignorance."
Media Panda says "YOu are all such freaks."
Flashfire says "One of us! One of us!"
Rebecca says "But there's this nemesis he has who keeps coming back from the dead and trying to kill him, and one day, he realized that he could get a much better revenge as a matchmaker. So he called Pete, saying he was Mac; and he called KITT, saying he was Mac; and he set up a romantic table, with gently fizzling bombs and champagne; and things proceeded from there.""
Flashfire heh, and covets his Tim Tam goodness. {.{ }.}
Solarbird giggles as - no lie - iTunes starts playing "Make a Circuit with Me."