no better satire could be written

[solarbird]

Holy hell. The Tesla Truck is such a complete fucking sales disaster that he’s getting a corrupt deal with the military to buy them as targets.

I repeat:

THE TESLA TRUCK IS SUCH A COMPLETE FAILURE THAT THEY’RE SELLING THEM TO THE MILITARY AS TARGETS FOR TARGET PRACTICE.

Only a couple at first. Still, no doubt it’ll be at full price or some shit. Gotta claw those losses back somehow, right? Try this, see who complains.

Regardless, “OFFICIAL US MILITARY TARGET” stickers for Teslas, y/y?

Also, I may need to make yet another new sign for the Tesla Takedown protests because holy shit xD

Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.

Comments

[conuly]

I don't even have a reaction.

[solarbird]

The satire really is just too perfect, isn't it? And it's not even satire.

[psybelle]

Yeah, I definitely want bumperstickers - "Go Air Force!" with a line drawing of the truck and a target comes to mind - but I also want drones with stencils and spray paint to put targets on the roofs of the things ...

(And, yeah, talk about .gov waste - if all you're going to do is blow 'em up, why not buy used?)

[solarbird]

The corruption is the point. Not the waste - the corruption.

Thank you for clarifying what's going on.

[kathmandu]

I noticed that news article, and wondered if they really needed such realistic targets for target practice, but didn't make the connection to "corrupt sales support for a product that isn't selling on the open market".

Re: Thank you for clarifying what's going on.

[solarbird]

Plus if you read the comments made by the military, it's pure fluffing - marketing material for Tesla, talking about how tough it's supposed to be. Which is something they desperately need given that it blows axles going off-road and that the glued-on "stainless" steel side panels like to blow off in the wind.

[malurette]

I think you need to put together a Summer Halloween in which everyone dresses up as an US soldier--contemporary or historical--and gets water balloons filled with paint, water guns filled with acetic acid, etc, and targets every Tesla they can see in the street. Swing a bat at Cybertrucks and get away with saying you mistook them for the prize piñata. If a Cybertruck catches fire you get to roast marshmallows. Target Practice Day! very Patriotic!! the team who tallies up the most Teslas wins?

(OK but seriously, that means that taxpayers foot the bill for Tesla? mega Yuck!!)

[psybelle]

Yeah, I know ... the corruption is should be spectacular/a spectacle to be "roasted" everywhere ... but the waste, on top of stupid DOGE, is another talking point for those who need their noses rubbed in it....