windows is still vms inside and i hate that for it

so I had an amusing by which I mean FUCK YOU WINDOWS adventure wherein i went to check to make sure my gaming rig (and only windows box) actually did have the patch for the wifi remote execution bug because I was pretty sure I got the patch late Thursday night but it never hurts to check and I did have it but there was another patch waiting to go so I just went ahead and installed it and that was fine except somehow installing that reactivated a really old update from January for a combination recovery/bitlocker issue which kept trying to install but failing with an obscure error code that turned out to be due to my recovery partition being too small despite having been set up by windows itself (they silently upped the size requirement without telling you or making it bigger thanks gyes) so i had to fix that which meant i had to move around partitions and shrink and grow them like one of those 15-number puzzles but eventually i got there but then Windows Recovery service said it couldn’t start anymore after making my recovery partition bigger but then said it could start again after I tried again so I decided the first failure was just random and tried to install the January windows update once more but it still wouldn’t go so i rebooted in case that would help and somehow that resulted in my machine deciding to boot off a three and a half year old image on another physical device that I forgot was even there so that was exciting, but it was okay because i got that fixed by just taking the other drive out and that got me back to where i just had to fix windows recovery again and it turned out it was broken because it didn’t have a windows recovery source image for some reason (even though a complete integrity check passed) so that was kinda fucked and eventually i managed to find other people with the same problem but everything i could find said i needed a winrm.wim which i most certainly didn’t have and then other people with the same problem said you had to get that off your install iso and I did have that but my install iso didn’t have a winrm.wim and eventually i found out that what i really needed was an install.wim so i could extract the winrm.wim but my iso didn’t have that either, only corporate copies have that, mine only had a install.cra or something I forget and it turns out those .cra or whatever I forget files have stacks of like eight install.wims inside them and you have to extract the right one, and once you’ve figured that out, then you can mount the install.wim you’ve extracted and dig through that for a surprisingly long while to get the winrm.wim that’s right for your system and put it in the special magic place and point windows recovery at it and then finally windows recovery will go “oh look you have a winrm.wim now how nice okay I will run it for you” and once all that’s working then as long as you’ve remembered to make your recovery partition bigger and haven’t accidentally reset it back to default the windows update patch from January will probably run correctly (and it is only probably because sometimes this doesn’t fix it and nobody knows why?) but in my case it did and it worked.

VICTORY FOR TAK!

(i’m not even mad even if every time i get more than like five minutes into a genuine windows problem i am reminded once again that dave fucking cutler came from fucking vms and that vms took perfectly good rsts/e and gave it both anxiety and a desperate need to explain itself through verbosity and i’m a little mad at him about it all over again)

anyway, then i could play overwatch again yay

Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.