mmmmmm muscle relaxants

I am on many, many drugs. Basically the pain is caused by a muscle that stiffened up to act as a splint finally relaxing a bit, one layer at a time. This is exceedingly painful. The next time I'm at that level of pain I'm under orders to go to the emergency room. But for now I'm on an amusing collection of muscle relaxants and painkillers and feel very stupid but basically okay! So that's fine. Even if I'm bored and stupid.

I wish I had more brain so I could do more things tho'. I'm sleepy all the time and kinda dumb.

Supposedly if I can medicate my way through the weekend and be kind to my arm this should pass by Tuesday or so, and things will be good. I sure hope that's right. The next step would have been to put me back in hospital with a morphine drip which wouldn't have done any good anyway since I can't take morphine. (Well, I can, but it makes me paranoid and delusional, which really is the bestworst of all possible combinations. So let's not do that.) So right now I'm sitting on my ass, babying my arm, and playing hearts online with risu which is about the limits of my intellectual capabilities.

God damn I'd better be better by the end of the month. This here is stupid.

Sweet things still all taste way too sweet. Dark, bitter chocolate is still really, really good - better than usual, even. So that's nice. Xo tassssety. Bacon is still 100% win. Maybe this will help me maintain weight later. I've managed to gain back a couple of my lost poundage this week, so that's something - hopefully at least some of it is muscle. Stairs have gotten a lot easier. But I keep falling asleep.

( Quizzie )

finally looked at my bike

It's seriously fucked. The back wheel is bent, by which I mean, somebody took a third of it and BENT IT at a serious angle. There are serious brake skids all along the metal rim - whatever happened, I saw it coming. The frame itself is torqued in the same direction as the real wheel - the chain sticks out past the frame in ways it really shouldn't. The derailleur is bent in a really bad way - it may be salvageable, it may not be, I dunno. But it's not in line anymore. The front wheel is no longer true, but only in the sense that wheels fall out of true, so that's no problem. A good bike shop could fix that in five minutes.

I don't know whether the frame is salvable. It may be, it may not be, I don't know enough about bike repair. But it's got a severe curve to it, like it got hit at the back from the right side. The back wheel (and associated gearset) is a write-off; it's severely bent, as though from a similar hit in the same direction. The derailleur is probably not salvageable - it's randomly loose in strange ways and bent up pretty badly - but it's possible that someone who knows what they're doing could disassemble it completely and rebuild it and it'd be fine, I don't know. The braking system seems okay.

I dunno what happened, still. It really looks like I got clocked from the right side, towards the back, but I can't say that conclusively. I'm trying to figure out whether it's reasonable that I could have hit a drain, and I'm certainly not going to say no, but the angle of bend in the frame makes me doubt it. I could see the wheel damage coming from a drain grab, no problem. But I have a hard time carrying that angle of bend up to the frame. I would expect the bend to be different, to have a different angle, in the event of a drain grab.

So I dunno. I doubt the bike can be salvaged. That's very unfortunate, given how broke we are now from the hospital bills. We'll just have to see how it goes.