Let’s talk about those horrible JD Vance semen-sample jars for a moment, because it’s weird – holy crap it’s weird, it’s Monseur Boeuf Le Tet let’s go to Mexico and found a UFO religion weird – but it’s also gross and violent in whole new ways.
And yeah, I said violent. I meant it. Walk with me.
So. If you don’t know, Republican/MAGA cultists are going around with medical sample jars containing fake semen. They’re labelled JD Vance Full Family Kits.
Yes, really. But they’re not weird.
If you ask them, they’ll tell you it’s for Democrats. Democrats who can’t have kids, which means even on the surface level, this is exactly as gross and mean as it appears. They’re mocking people who can’t have children but want to, and echoing the Christian Nationalist line that a family isn’t a real family if they don’t have children, as well as JD Vance’s line in particular that if you don’t have biological children you aren’t a real woman.
But if you dig a little deeper, it’s even worse than that.
You see, once again, this is something that comes out of American fundamentalist cults. These items are talismans of their beliefs. Sure, they’re nasty sneers aimed at strangers they’ve chosen to degrade and hate, but they’re also talismans of their religious beliefs.
And there are two obvious meanings to this talisman. First is the statement, just below the surface, that if you can’t get pregnant by your weak Democrat – who naturally isn’t really actually a man since he’s not MAGA – then don’t worry, JD Vance is our God-Emperor’s apprentice. Therefore, he is a real man, and will be able to get you properly pregnant like you want to be, just like any Real Man could.
The second is uglier.
The second is a promise. A promise being made to women who don’t want children. And that promise is, we will make you pregnant like you should be, bitch.
I was going to write about JD Vance’s style of misogyny vs. Trump’s style of misogyny soon, but I guess I’ll talk about it here and now, because this is a manifestation of it.
Trump’s style of misogyny is the sort that doesn’t outright hate women, it just doesn’t think of women as adults. Women aren’t responsible, women in general can’t be trusted to make the right decisions in general, but occasionally, you get one that proves themselves, similarly to a bright child or trustworthy teenager. You can bring those on and grant them with responsibility, much like you might trust a properly-raised child. They just should never be in actual charge; a man must be the actual boss, because you need an actual adult – always a man – at the top.
Plus there’s the sex, of course. That’s important. And babies, also important. But when all is said and done, select women can be treated as mostly people too. Not quite full people, of course, but – mostly people.
JD Vance’s misogyny is much, much meaner. JD Vance’s misogyny – and the misogyny of his entire cult – deeply hates women. Deeply, as in, deeply resents our necessity for sex and childbirth deeply, as in, wishes we didn’t have to be here.
Given that, then if women must be around, it must be only for the purposes of reproduction and childcare, and okay, sex. Also, they should serve their superiors – men – since that’s useful and right too.
JD Vance has pretty much come out and said this, with his commentary about only families with children being real families and the only purpose of post-menopausal women being to raise kids.
And if you’re in a society that permits women not to have and raise children, then maybe you’re not in a righteous society at all. So they intend to fix that, by making damn well sure you have those kids and you raise those kids and that’s it, because that is, after all, your only valid purpose.
And so, this carrying around the talisman of Vance, this symbolic manhood of Vance, this statement that “it’s for Democrats” and a “full family kit?” It’s absolutely a promise. It is a symbolic promise to make unmarried and/or childless woman into literal Handmaiden’s Tale handmaidens.
They will make you fulfil your only valid purpose.
Most of them are probably not fully conscious this is what they’re promising. A lot of them are just in the cult, and the cult is doing this, so naturally, they are as well.
But some of them know.
Take a look at this guy and go ahead. Look at that incel sneer. Tell me he doesn’t know what he’s promising.
I dare you.
He knows.

78 days remain.
Posted via Solarbird{y|z|yz}, Collected.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-19 09:00 pm (UTC)It seems most likely to me that these were set up by Dem trolls for a gag, but if so, I'm very disappointed that several liberal outlets are simply passing them on without subjecting them to scrutiny. The Couchfucker gag worked because it was easily proven to be false. This is getting into ethically dubious territory.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-19 09:57 pm (UTC)Just being this far out there speaks nothing to credibility, because they are routinely this far out there - it just doesn't get covered most of the time. Historically, it just didn't get discovered most of the time, you really had to go digging for it.
(And, historically speaking, I have.)
Even their most prominent, most public people go out about this far - remember that whole ball tanning thing? Tucker Carlson's bizarrely homoerotic ad for his ball tanning machine? It's the same cock and impregnation worship, just in a more portable container, combined with their favourite game of taunting people who are disabled or in pain.
I wouldn't've run with it if it wasn't credible, but as soon as I saw it I was all "yeah, that's about right," though I didn't get a good lock on it until Anna found a story that filled in a couple of missing pieces, and they all fit too.
Of course, all that said, sure, it could be a hoax. There are massive disinformation engines out there, and some of them are extremely effective. If it comes out that it is a hoax, then I'll say so.
But like the couch meme, the problem isn't even that a few randos were out there doing this. The problem - for them - is that it's completely credible. Just like "Sure, I could believe JD Vance fucked a couch, even if he didn't - he's totally the kind of guy who would fuck a piece of furniture" is a problem for Vance, "Sure, I believe they'll mercilessly mock childless couples who can't get pregnant, they've already been doing that for years" is a problem for the Christofascist movement.
So in that way, it doesn't matter whether it's real. I found a bunch of sources on it that I didn't link, and, as you note, there's definitely credible coverage.
But if it turns out to be fake, I'll say so.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-21 12:42 am (UTC)If I'm ever confronted by just such a Sneering Incel, my response will be "did you harvest that from JD Vance's couch cushions?"
no subject
Date: 2024-08-21 12:48 am (UTC)