I can't figure out which part of this makes me cringe the most

[solarbird]

I don't know what I love/hate the most: 101 people on the To: line, the typo of his own damn name in the subject line, or spelling "write-in" WRIGHT-IN.

nnnngnghghghgh.

I'm leaving this From: line intact because FUCK YOU, BOB. Jesus.

----- Original Message -----

From: "Bob Black" <BobCBlack@msn.com>

Date: Heisei 23 November 7 19:38:50 PST

To: [Me and ONE HUNDRED OTHER PEOPLE.]

Subject: Write in BOB B LACK for Kenmore Position 5

Wright In Candidate on Pos 5

Bob Black

For Kenmore City Council Pos 5

 

There Needs to be a Wake up call to city hall by electing a new representative who will Listen and Hear the citizen’s issues then follow through as a team with solutions to the issue that benefit all of the citizens.

Citizens must be given back the rights to make change happen through initiative and referendums. Not held hostage by refusal to grant Kenmore citizen’s there referendum rights.

The status of the Infrastructure needs to be addressed and the traffic issues dealt with in a user friendly way. Pedestrian safety must come as a top priority.

I respectfully request your write in vote to make change happen and bring back the values we all cherish as American's.

 

I am endorsed by the following:

The citizens of Kenmore that Want change and vote for me

 Not special interest groups with personal agendas.

 

Black out the circle on Pos 5 And write in Bob Black.

Thank You

 

Comments

[jenk]

Oh good god.

I think I'd vote for Mike the Mover before Bob B lack.

[solarbird]

WRIGHT IN CANDIDATE

[jenk]

"refusal to grant Kenmore CITIZEN'S THERE referendum rights."

[shadesofmauve]

Personally, I'm fond of the random capitalization for emphasis. Or perhaps it's a code!

Needs Wake Listen Hear... no, probably not a code.

[loopback.livejournal.com]

i am all in favor of electing a representative who has the ability to follow through as a team.

[solarbird]

Not with that complete lack of capitalisation, you're not.

[loopback.livejournal.com]

The problem, you see, is that I wasn't feeling up to acting like a Team Of One, So I didn't Have my Tiger-Team Emergency Response Shift Key Squadron ready to Help Out ...

[solarbird]

He's not running for Middle-Management Suck-Up, he's running - or perhaps stumbling - for council.

(God damn "Tiger Team." Makes me want to punch BrianV right in the face all over again, it does.)

[loopback.livejournal.com]

it may help to consider that when I say "Tiger Team", I immediately think of 10-20 network intrusion engineers dressed up as Rum Tum Tugger looking at packet sniffer results.

[st-rev.livejournal.com]

That's...not the Bob Black I know. Unless he had a stroke.

[solarbird]

But do you know Bob B Lack?

[st-rev.livejournal.com]

We occasionally called him that in the APA. He was a legendary asshole. Still is, I suppose.

[stolen-tea.livejournal.com]

Wow. I think that might actually fail at number 3 of the Slushkiller (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/004641.html) rejections:

"Author has a serious neurochemical disorder, puts all important words into capital letters, and would type out to the margins if MSWord would let him."

[solarbird]

Oh gods yes, this.

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

The fact that he resorted to spamming makes me reject the idea of voting for him out of hand.

[solarbird]

Well, obviously. I'm also adding a layer of public shaming.

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Seriously. All politicians should be publically shamed. Actually I like Pterry's take on politics in The Last Continent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Continent): Immediately after being elected, politicians are jailed. It saves time, you see.

[wildshadowstar.livejournal.com]

Bob B "Lack"s enough wright-in votes to get elected. Pun intended.

[solarbird]

Well, sure. He ran as a filed candidate a couple of times. I wonder whether he didn't just kind of forget to file this time. XD

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Why do you keep picking on Ms Trafflegore? She's fulfilling the terms of her morgue service and keeping on to the vistas while the poppy fields bloom!

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Also, sad to say, see many public statements by presidential candidates where they presumably had plenty of time to talk all this over with a group of highly paid advisors.

YOU COULD DO WORTJH! Schlack for Prexident to day!

[solarbird]

Really I can't tell any difference between this and the anonymous comments I get over on Uplake.

[mojave-wolf.livejournal.com]

Clearly, absurdist commentary upon the absurdity of Mr. B Lack's use of spam to suggest a write-in vote (did he win?) was an utter failure.

But it's not my fault.

Because the song remains the same. The dude abides. Janie's got a gun. Your tax ID failed. You have a warrant out due to your failure to pay your NYC traffic ticket #bcdlolbr549. And nevermore shall lonely women seeking a fun time with their webcam because they don't want to be alone and remember your last time together fondly lack horny goat weed.

[rozasharn.livejournal.com]

...Are you absolutely positive that's not spoofed? It seems so bad it reminds me of the autodialer push polls that claim to be from Candidate X but are actually from Candidate Y, designed to annoy voters into abandoning Candidate X.

[solarbird]

He couldn't even be bothered to file this year. And he has run before. Usually, filing. Turns out he's also about 810 years old - I didn't know this before - so, yeah.