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I am copying and pasting this post - with permission - because the original post was locked, and they requested that I share it in this format. I know OP personally, and have for some time.
Read all of it - and particularly note the instructions in the last paragraph. My long history of doing that has saved me, several times.
This is going to be a rather personal post from me, but given the number of people I've seen on Facebook expressing extreme anxiety regarding Brett Kavanaugh and his supporters and apologists, I think it's necessary as many of you have been raised in environments that were completely alien to mine.
This post isn't really intended to provide comfort or solutions. It's simply intended to explain how things really are given that I'm a former extreme right-wing conservative. I was raised by an individual who was not once, but twice, clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is exactly what afflicts Donald Trump (and presumably quite a few of his most ardent supporters). And her partner was basically a sycophant who mirrors many of Trump's enablers.
I've seen many posts where people ask if Trump and his supporters really enjoy the suffering of others. The simple answer is yes. But it goes deeper than that. Trump supporters enjoy your outrage. They feed off your outrage and it gives them energy and strength to reach for even greater extremes. When you ask Trump supporters how they can support such evil, heinous policies, they delight in your assumption of their inherent goodness. They're openly laughing at you when you do this. Simply put, they're emotional vampires, and trying to relate to these individuals on the same level as decent human beings is completely playing into their hands. They don't respect this kind of interaction. They think less of you for it. And they regard you as potential prey, even if they don't see an immediate opportunity to victimize you. I know how upsetting and bleak this may sound to someone reading this right now but as I noted above, I'm not making this post to comfort you. I'm posting this to simply tell you how it is, as I was one of these kinds of people a very long time ago. My entire career has been based on telling people how things are, and often they don't like the messenger, regardless of their belief system.
Having lived and survived in an environment dominated by NPD individuals in both personal and professional settings, there are several takeaways I would advise you to keep in mind. First, make it very clear to an NPD that you're not going to play on their level. They'll say things to upset you. Their way of interacting with you, their way of manipulating you, is totally dependent on that. Don't be emotional with them. Make it clear that you know that they're liars, that they're cheats. Be calm and stay in control as you tell them that. And add that because that they lack empathy, you regard them as inanimate objects. I invite you to use that very term with them, because I have. And more often than not, they laughed and immediately disengaged with me and sought another victim. Or they would lose control of the situation when they realized I was onto them.
Secondly, if the opportunity arises, make sure that these NPD individuals experience immediate, measurable consequences as a direct result of their attempt to victimize you. Make clear to their sycophants and apologists that you won't forget where they stood in the situation and that you won't ever forget. I personally engaged in this kind of, for lack of a better term, warfare over a period of decades with members of my own family, as well as my political opponents in my state. So be prepared for a very long battle. Many of these individuals think they can wait you out. Make sure you include this in your calculus. When you reengage with them, be punctual, avoid hesitation.
After this is all over, these individuals will try to reengage you again. They'll pretend that none of this had transpired. They'll gaslight you and try to convince you that you don't remember history as it actually happened. Save the receipts. I personally know of several individuals who I used to regard as friends who have already taken to scrubbing their social media histories so that no one will ever know that they enthusiastically supported Donald Trump and the darkest, most evil of his dehumanizing policies. Take screen shots. Save them for posterity. And when the time is right, make sure they know that you haven't forgotten and be clear that you will ensure others also will never forget. Always remember, this is to the grave. So be strong. Be resolute. You will be surprised over time how many new friends you will make along the way.
Read all of it - and particularly note the instructions in the last paragraph. My long history of doing that has saved me, several times.
This is going to be a rather personal post from me, but given the number of people I've seen on Facebook expressing extreme anxiety regarding Brett Kavanaugh and his supporters and apologists, I think it's necessary as many of you have been raised in environments that were completely alien to mine.
This post isn't really intended to provide comfort or solutions. It's simply intended to explain how things really are given that I'm a former extreme right-wing conservative. I was raised by an individual who was not once, but twice, clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is exactly what afflicts Donald Trump (and presumably quite a few of his most ardent supporters). And her partner was basically a sycophant who mirrors many of Trump's enablers.
I've seen many posts where people ask if Trump and his supporters really enjoy the suffering of others. The simple answer is yes. But it goes deeper than that. Trump supporters enjoy your outrage. They feed off your outrage and it gives them energy and strength to reach for even greater extremes. When you ask Trump supporters how they can support such evil, heinous policies, they delight in your assumption of their inherent goodness. They're openly laughing at you when you do this. Simply put, they're emotional vampires, and trying to relate to these individuals on the same level as decent human beings is completely playing into their hands. They don't respect this kind of interaction. They think less of you for it. And they regard you as potential prey, even if they don't see an immediate opportunity to victimize you. I know how upsetting and bleak this may sound to someone reading this right now but as I noted above, I'm not making this post to comfort you. I'm posting this to simply tell you how it is, as I was one of these kinds of people a very long time ago. My entire career has been based on telling people how things are, and often they don't like the messenger, regardless of their belief system.
Having lived and survived in an environment dominated by NPD individuals in both personal and professional settings, there are several takeaways I would advise you to keep in mind. First, make it very clear to an NPD that you're not going to play on their level. They'll say things to upset you. Their way of interacting with you, their way of manipulating you, is totally dependent on that. Don't be emotional with them. Make it clear that you know that they're liars, that they're cheats. Be calm and stay in control as you tell them that. And add that because that they lack empathy, you regard them as inanimate objects. I invite you to use that very term with them, because I have. And more often than not, they laughed and immediately disengaged with me and sought another victim. Or they would lose control of the situation when they realized I was onto them.
Secondly, if the opportunity arises, make sure that these NPD individuals experience immediate, measurable consequences as a direct result of their attempt to victimize you. Make clear to their sycophants and apologists that you won't forget where they stood in the situation and that you won't ever forget. I personally engaged in this kind of, for lack of a better term, warfare over a period of decades with members of my own family, as well as my political opponents in my state. So be prepared for a very long battle. Many of these individuals think they can wait you out. Make sure you include this in your calculus. When you reengage with them, be punctual, avoid hesitation.
After this is all over, these individuals will try to reengage you again. They'll pretend that none of this had transpired. They'll gaslight you and try to convince you that you don't remember history as it actually happened. Save the receipts. I personally know of several individuals who I used to regard as friends who have already taken to scrubbing their social media histories so that no one will ever know that they enthusiastically supported Donald Trump and the darkest, most evil of his dehumanizing policies. Take screen shots. Save them for posterity. And when the time is right, make sure they know that you haven't forgotten and be clear that you will ensure others also will never forget. Always remember, this is to the grave. So be strong. Be resolute. You will be surprised over time how many new friends you will make along the way.
