solarbird | one of the things going thorugh my head as i wrote this (Reply)

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Oh come on, give me a day like this, give me this one... Everybody lives! Just this once - everybody lives!

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Widowmaker - in canon - has the least agency of anyone in the main cast. I would also argue that she (as Amélie Lacroix) has the hardest story. And so many of the AUs reflect both of those, and I was not having it. Amélie is a brainwiped murderbot? Fuck that. She's in charge of Talon.

And as for the two of them as a couple, I am done with unhappy endings for women who love women. One way or another, I was bringing them home.

Alive.

And happy.

And well.

And everybody - every-fucking-body - who read the story was going to believe it. No ex machina, no woobification (if anything, I'm de-woobifying Widowmaker), no undoing of critical past, no suspension of disbelief (other than that the universe requires)... emotionally - emotionally - it was going to, it had to, feel as natural and inevitable as rain in autumn. It had to. People had to just believe.

And I did it. I don't really know how, to be honest, because I've never written like this before and I don't know if I ever will again, and I look at it now and go, "...how the fuck did I write this?" and I don't have an answer - it was like a two and a half month long fugue state. But I did it. I landed this fucker and I don't even know how.

But I knew the ending before I knew the beginning. I guess really all I had to do was figure out how to get there.