solarbird: (assassin)

Everything I write lately is another Mary Kaye and the Cosmetics song, which if you’re new – meet our alternate band manifestation, the four-chord all-girl hardcore punk band Mary Kaye and the Cosmetics, who play exclusively Hello Kitty-branded instruments.

I guess I should just get them all written down and then maybe I can write other kinds of music. I like the Mary Kaye stuff, but there’s more to life than hardcore mandolin. OR IS THERE? XD

Hate Your Day Job
(C) 2011 Dara Korra’ti/CRIME and the Forces of Evil

CHORUS:
Hate, Hate, Hate your day job
Hate, Hate, Hate your day job
Hate, Hate, Hate your day job
Hate, Hate, Hate your day job

I hate your day job
I think it’s driving you nuts
I hate your day job
We all know that it sucks
I hate your day job
So come in from the rain
I hate your day job
It’s driving you insane so

[CHORUS]

You hate your day job
You say it all the time
You hate your day job
They treat you like you’re slime
You hate your day job
It’s cruel and antithetic
You hate your day job
Staying makes you feel pathetic and you

[CHORUS]

They hate your day job
It doesn’t pay the rent
They hate your day job
They wish you’d go get bent
They hate your day job
They’d outsource it if they could
They hate your day job
Please don’t be misunderstood because

BRIDGE:
It’s not that I’ve been listening to all those stupid Marxists
It’s not that I’ve been sewing sickles onto scarlet sheet
But it’s pretty fucking obvious they took you to the cleaners
And I’m trying to determine how they got you quite so beat
It’s not like there’s redemption in adhering to the masses but
Nothing’s gonna happen ’till you riot in the street so
Maybe take a tip or two from Portugal or Iceland and go
Party down the boulevard just like you were a Greek! and

Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Go! Do! Something else!

Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Quit, Quit, Quit your Day Job!
Stop! Wasting! Your! Life!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil.
Buy Dick Tracy Must Die at CD Baby, Amazon, iTunes, eMusic, or through Bandcamp!

solarbird: (assassin)

I’m having one of those days where I’m up at 0:19 and really should go to bed, and will, but I’m also knee deep in Artefacts (You’ll Never See) and at this rate it’s totally going out on Monday. Which’ll leave a big lag between that and the final! two! songs! on! the! album! except that the gap will be smaller because the luthier at Dusty Strings called and said he got an opening and can take Kohaku in for fret work a week earlier than expected!

This is awesome, because I can’t record much on Kohaku until this buzz problem is fixed.

I’ve also been hyper today because I got a couple of comments over on Livejournal that absolutely made my fucking week. lj:tahkhleet said,

I’m so glad someone else is writing in this vein. Musically and lyrically [My Boyfriend] is like a middle ground between Leslie Fish and King Missile. The improvised drumkit works… sometimes you have to do your Black Metal on mandolin and whatever less common instruments you have hanging around…

eeeeeeee! Blackmetal! And a couple of weeks ago I was thinking nobody would get the whole elfmetal thing all, ever. Squeetime! And then lj:goodconceited separately said,

[My Boyfriend] is brilliant and awesome. The super-shiny kind of brilliant that has to be shared with as many people as it can be…

…which made my brain explode. XD And then lj:cow linked and said to check this shit out. XD Thank you all for saying such awesome things, it’s probably way too good for my ego (lol) but eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! so exciting!

Now I’m all hyper again. Ah, large animal tranquilliser, you’re my bestest friend. G’night!

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil.

solarbird: (assassin)

Crime and the Forces of Evil have an alter-ego. I don’t mean our secret identities, or formerly secret identities, I mean our alter-ego as the elfpunk band Mary Kaye and the Cosmetics. The Cosmetics play hardcore on exclusively Hello Kitty branded instruments and have yet to use more than four chords – anywhere. They write songs with titles like “Sick of America,” “Sad Muppet,” and this one, “My Boyfriend.”

There’s also a spoken-word intro on a separate track that explains how it’s actually a song about Bishōjo Senshi Sailor Moonsorta – but with very not worksafe lyrics. The intro is PG rated, tops, but seriously do not play the song at work. Or possibly anywhere. I’ve pasted the intro script below the players; like usual I deviated from it, but it’s close enough.

Yes, that’s a drumkit. No, it’s not a normal rock drumkit, it’s made of bodhrans and djembes and drumsticks and mallets and other random bits. Yes, that’s effectively an electric mandolin overdriven to hell and back, and a heavily filtered and overdriven electric octave mandolin, and, well, you get the idea. If I had something I could turn up to 11 on this song, I said fukkit and turned it up to 12. Enjoy:



So how many of you know what Sailor Moon is? Okay! So! Huge show if you were a girl in the 90s, told the story of the sailor senshi, superhero incarnations of the planets, defending the solar system against threats both extrasolar and extradimensional. A US company bought the rights to the first two series, dubbed ‘em, aired them in North America, and it’s a huge hit. So they want more of that, buy the next two series sight unseen and immediately realise they have a problem, or more correctly, two problems.

FIRST: one of the villains is gay. It’s not subtext; it’s a plot point. But being drawn in the fine tradition of bishonen, he’s pretty. VERY pretty. So they look at him and think, “you know… with some edits… and recasting… and new dialogue… we could make him… a her.” And they do. I understand it still airs this way, in English, but I don’t care, I watch Japanese.

But then they have a SECOND problem. We meet three new sailor senshi: Sailors Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Uranus and Neptune, both women, are a couple. It’s not subtext. And it’s time to play everybody’s favourite game: LET’S HIDE THE LESBIANS! They look at Sailor Neptune… and go oh god, and so they look at Sailor Uranus and think, “Weeellll… she’s pretty butch… she’s a race car driver in real life… and she’s got short hair and wears pants all the time… maybe we could make her… a him.” I’m told that this actually made it out into the wild before – and I PRAY this is true – someone rang them up them going, “youuuuuu IDIOTS. Do you not know – because your audience certainly knows – that those uniforms they transform into to fight crime in are GIRL’S SCHOOL UNIFORMS and YOU have just invented the WORLD’S FIRST TRANSVESTITE SUPERHERO?”

This is about THAT Sailor Uranus, sung by THAT Sailor Neptune, and it’s called, “My Boyfriend.”

Mirrored from Crime and the Blog of Evil.

oh baby

Jan. 26th, 2010 10:30 am
solarbird: (Default)
As you may and may not know, I have two fake bands (in that they're bands with me as the only actual member): Crime and the Forces of Evil and Mary Kay and the Cosmetics. I do most of my work as just myself or as CFoE; Mary Kay and the Cosmetics is my all-girl hardcore punk band that plays only Hello Kitty-branded instruments. So far, they only have two songs, but that's okay.

They really need this in the worst way, which is of course the only way you can have that. Yes, it actually works, watch the video. ^_^

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